I decided I am now more of a morning person than I ever was. Despite the fact that I am also more tired in the morning than I ever was : ) Apparently when I wake up, I am like a spark plug. Start me up and I'm off. Perhaps its because I have so much going on in my day that I just dive in and start checking things off the list.
I think that is why morning meditations don't work as well for me. I know that is the best time for my dad to meditate, he wakes up with it every day. I prefer to meditate right after I get home from work, and before I have dinner. I use it as a part of the process to switch gears from sales to teaching. I leave all the noise from my day behind and sit in a moment of reflection, strength, and clarity before diving into teaching for the evening.
Last night I skipped meditating, went straight to dinner with a wonderful man, and then had A LOT of teaching to do (grading 2 sets of finals and getting 2 more up and running). I actually felt like I couldn't breathe for the first time in a long time. I won't say it was a panic attack, but it was definitely a stress-bucket moment. My gut instinct was to dive in like I do first thing in the morning and get everything off that teaching list, but I stopped myself. I turned off the music, and made myself relax and let the list go. It was very very hard to do with that list ticking away in my head. Since I had already eaten my body wasn't in meditation mode, but I made myself breathe and forced my mind to quiet. It took a small army to quiet me, but I got there with the help of an amazing soldier, and I truly believe I was a better teacher last night because of it.
So, if you are like me and get overwhelmed by the list sometimes, remember that diving in may not always be the best choice. You may get further by taking a beat, calming your soul, and deliberately approaching your day from a place of peace. Perhaps I need to try morning meditation again after all for this very reason....we shall see how it goes.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Joys of Unfiltered Conversation
In the past few months I have been blessed with the joy of unfiltered conversation. It is a wondrously freeing experience, and I am also enjoying being an unfiltered listener. There is a great deal of truth and trust in communicating the little nagging thoughts that are on your mind--many of those noisy worries that rattle around your mind are totally unnecessary. Its all a part of my new mission to trust my gut, reconnect with my instincts, and avoid drama. I don't know when or why I started doubting my gut. I realized this year that my instincts are pretty awesome, and a tool I should embrace!!!! I simply do not have the energy to try and read everyone minds anymore. I was wasting so much time predicting and planning for issues that existed only in my head...and I don't have that to spare any more. If you tell me you feel "x"...then you do...because you said so--case closed.
I used to tiptoe around others with my wonder-ings, and dwell and obsess on them in my own mind. I would push down my gut response, and brush away those little kind fairies that tried to whisper guidance in my ears. I would literally make things harder than they ever had to be! Now I just speak what is on my mind. What is even more amazing about this....is when you start speaking your real internal thoughts to people...they tell you theirs too!!!! I know!!! Who knew this was possible! Open, honest communication without boundaries, or secret code words. Real, pure, effective connection that actually brings us closer.
For instance a conversation that could be so totally complex and possibly span 4 days would now go as follows:
ME: "Is something off with us?"
THEM: "What do you mean, everything is fine"
ME: "That's great to hear. I must just feel nervous because everything else is going wrong. Glad I checked in"
Done...simple...connected communication between 2 people being truthful, and trusting in the purity of what they are hearing. Nothing more needs to be said because they believe and trust each other. Because there is no reason or precedent not to. Because they agreed to be honest with each other and refused to segregate their thoughts from their words
This, is a truly beautiful thing! It works at work, the grocery store, you name it....try it.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say--its an amazing experience
I used to tiptoe around others with my wonder-ings, and dwell and obsess on them in my own mind. I would push down my gut response, and brush away those little kind fairies that tried to whisper guidance in my ears. I would literally make things harder than they ever had to be! Now I just speak what is on my mind. What is even more amazing about this....is when you start speaking your real internal thoughts to people...they tell you theirs too!!!! I know!!! Who knew this was possible! Open, honest communication without boundaries, or secret code words. Real, pure, effective connection that actually brings us closer.
For instance a conversation that could be so totally complex and possibly span 4 days would now go as follows:
ME: "Is something off with us?"
THEM: "What do you mean, everything is fine"
ME: "That's great to hear. I must just feel nervous because everything else is going wrong. Glad I checked in"
Done...simple...connected communication between 2 people being truthful, and trusting in the purity of what they are hearing. Nothing more needs to be said because they believe and trust each other. Because there is no reason or precedent not to. Because they agreed to be honest with each other and refused to segregate their thoughts from their words
This, is a truly beautiful thing! It works at work, the grocery store, you name it....try it.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say--its an amazing experience
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
New York State of Mind...........
Dear Blog,
It has been ages since I have written. I've been juggling extra classes, and holidays and floating through my days. It has been nice to glide through life with a new perspective, and a focus on joy. I was previously plowing through my to-do lists and dragging baggage around every turn. I had blinders on--and was tunnel visioned on the agenda. My existence was all work and very little Heidi--Stella would not approve! I got to a point where I told myself that its okay to just skip it...skip whatever, and do what you want. For awhile I chose to skip blogging, and now I am ready to write. The balance is there again and so is my voice. I am now more interested in the lessons of the baggage than the suitcases themselves.
I recently came to a realization that the concept of tying up loose ends is nothing but a cliche. Who says they need to be tied up? They could be dangling pieces of art, braided, or starched in kinks...maybe they aren't even strings. It is simply societies judgments that things need to end in a perfect bow. I have never really been a perfect bow kind of girl, and perhaps I am most comfortable with beaded works of modern art as my loose ends. The sense of urgency that I had to fit life into a formulaic set up is gone. I now just enjoy living...living like I used to before pressure set in.
On my last trip to NYC I went back to the WTC site for the first time since before the towers fell. It was on that day that I realized how much 9-11-01 affected me. I was struck by the way it changed my path in life and what I was looking for. The way it started a voyage of sacrificing artistry for the "safe" path and for the benefit of others. Little did I know how dangerous the blind choices I made would be. I left my art, my passion and my joy of unpredictability for the safety of a day job. I trusted a man blindly, and did not see what was happening in our relationship--because I did not want to see it. I wanted it to fit in a nice box with a perfectly tied bow. I sought solace in the suburbs because that is where peace was supposed to be, even though the burbs kinda made me itch. I would not give back the family and friends from the day job--for they understand me and support me in ways I did not think possible. They are there for me time after time-- months and years after the last time I saw them. They are ready to laugh, and hug and simply enjoy how we have changed and how we haven't. I would not give back the suburban memories of watching the sunset from my back porch while barbecuing as the dogs played. I would not change who I am today or who I will be tomorrow. I am embracing this new understanding of why, how and when my focus changed, and I am thankful for this gift of understanding. It will not come as a surprise to many of you that this revelation came to me while looking at installation art amidst men in hard hats. Sometimes you have to go back to your roots to understand your path : )
That entire trip was like going back to the old New York of 2000. Instead of pushing me away, it welcomed me in. Things that would have been difficult in 2007 were so easy, and they just fell into place. There were even extra connections and "bonus" moments around every corner. There was a shift in energy on this trip. A friend referred to "City Magic" when I was there, and I knew exactly what he meant. I am confident there was a change in both myself and New York. Perhaps we are on the same plane again. Where we embrace the sweet unpredictability of life, yet understand it and cherish moments in a new way. Perhaps we are now both living for the moment, riding the wave, and finding the peace in that passionate city cadence. That energetic beat that once echoed so loudly with anger in my head, is now an amazing gong like reverb....I can once again say "I love New York!"
It has been ages since I have written. I've been juggling extra classes, and holidays and floating through my days. It has been nice to glide through life with a new perspective, and a focus on joy. I was previously plowing through my to-do lists and dragging baggage around every turn. I had blinders on--and was tunnel visioned on the agenda. My existence was all work and very little Heidi--Stella would not approve! I got to a point where I told myself that its okay to just skip it...skip whatever, and do what you want. For awhile I chose to skip blogging, and now I am ready to write. The balance is there again and so is my voice. I am now more interested in the lessons of the baggage than the suitcases themselves.
I recently came to a realization that the concept of tying up loose ends is nothing but a cliche. Who says they need to be tied up? They could be dangling pieces of art, braided, or starched in kinks...maybe they aren't even strings. It is simply societies judgments that things need to end in a perfect bow. I have never really been a perfect bow kind of girl, and perhaps I am most comfortable with beaded works of modern art as my loose ends. The sense of urgency that I had to fit life into a formulaic set up is gone. I now just enjoy living...living like I used to before pressure set in.
On my last trip to NYC I went back to the WTC site for the first time since before the towers fell. It was on that day that I realized how much 9-11-01 affected me. I was struck by the way it changed my path in life and what I was looking for. The way it started a voyage of sacrificing artistry for the "safe" path and for the benefit of others. Little did I know how dangerous the blind choices I made would be. I left my art, my passion and my joy of unpredictability for the safety of a day job. I trusted a man blindly, and did not see what was happening in our relationship--because I did not want to see it. I wanted it to fit in a nice box with a perfectly tied bow. I sought solace in the suburbs because that is where peace was supposed to be, even though the burbs kinda made me itch. I would not give back the family and friends from the day job--for they understand me and support me in ways I did not think possible. They are there for me time after time-- months and years after the last time I saw them. They are ready to laugh, and hug and simply enjoy how we have changed and how we haven't. I would not give back the suburban memories of watching the sunset from my back porch while barbecuing as the dogs played. I would not change who I am today or who I will be tomorrow. I am embracing this new understanding of why, how and when my focus changed, and I am thankful for this gift of understanding. It will not come as a surprise to many of you that this revelation came to me while looking at installation art amidst men in hard hats. Sometimes you have to go back to your roots to understand your path : )
That entire trip was like going back to the old New York of 2000. Instead of pushing me away, it welcomed me in. Things that would have been difficult in 2007 were so easy, and they just fell into place. There were even extra connections and "bonus" moments around every corner. There was a shift in energy on this trip. A friend referred to "City Magic" when I was there, and I knew exactly what he meant. I am confident there was a change in both myself and New York. Perhaps we are on the same plane again. Where we embrace the sweet unpredictability of life, yet understand it and cherish moments in a new way. Perhaps we are now both living for the moment, riding the wave, and finding the peace in that passionate city cadence. That energetic beat that once echoed so loudly with anger in my head, is now an amazing gong like reverb....I can once again say "I love New York!"
Sunday, November 1, 2009
An Amazing Artist!
My friend has recently updated her website. She is doing what I am too chicken to do, and is awesome! This new site showcases some of her best work, and I am proud to show her off. Its quite inspiring to see all she has done in the past few years.
Pretty sure she's reading this blushing, but also sure she will get over it :)
Take a look at Grey Lady Studio and enjoy! She is an awesome distance collaborator so give her a ring if you need her.
TTFN!
Pretty sure she's reading this blushing, but also sure she will get over it :)
Take a look at Grey Lady Studio and enjoy! She is an awesome distance collaborator so give her a ring if you need her.
TTFN!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Cool Stuff
I actually went shopping after work for something other than groceries the other day, and Bam!--I fell in love with a new thing...which is exactly why I stopped going shopping after work in the first place! I just had to share this with you all! There's a great little shop at Oakbrook Mall in Chicago called Nature's Home. Their claim to fame is to "proudly bring you earth-freindly products dedicated to the care of your home, your family, your friends, and our precious planet." Now you all know I am trying to be greener, healthier, etc., but most of you also know that this type of whole hog store is not the path I would typically take. I usually dip my toe in and wait a year for the water to feel warm before proceeding.
Enter---the window display that changed my mind!! They had tons of tee shirts on display from Tees for Change. Let's break this down: T-shirts --what's not to love, and Change--um have you been reading this blog! I'm all about change these days. Two of my favorite things in one place, and I was literally SUCKED into the store.
See below for my very first purchase from this great little company. It came complete with the world's cutest tag noting: "organic cotton, sustainable bamboo, sweatshop free, fair trade, yoga inspired, eco fashion" And the back of the tag sealed the deal with a quote from...drumroll please... Andy Warhol! "They say that time changes things but you actually have to change them yourself." No kiddin' it took me 30 years to figure that one out!
So there are a few lessons here. First...all those little marketing details really do pay off and draw clients in. The right window display can target a whole new audience, and put your clever in your tags people! Second...old dog over here is into the new tricks. I have always heard about and supported anti-sweatshop and sustainable products, but never really lived the theory. There's something empowering about knowing that the shirt I have on helps more than it harms, and embodies the principals I believe in. It's an easy way (yes, I said easy...something in our lives should be, right?) to feel like I have made a conscious choice that makes a difference. I am no longer a lazy spout of verbal support with no action. Where and what you choose to buy will make or break a company these days. Sales are down to a level where losing and gaining one client actually shows and makes a difference on the books. What a great opportunity to give some feedback to the companies we support the efforts of.
And....as a sure sign this is a correct trend in my life. I came home to a fabulous note that my building is FINALLY setting up a RECYCLING program! If that is what the extra $15 a month on my new lease is going to I will proudly pay it, and recycle with a smile.
That's all for now. Next time you are shopping with a few bucks to spare, go buy a t-shirt and support these folks. They are producing a product full of good vibes inside and out!
Enter---the window display that changed my mind!! They had tons of tee shirts on display from Tees for Change. Let's break this down: T-shirts --what's not to love, and Change--um have you been reading this blog! I'm all about change these days. Two of my favorite things in one place, and I was literally SUCKED into the store.
See below for my very first purchase from this great little company. It came complete with the world's cutest tag noting: "organic cotton, sustainable bamboo, sweatshop free, fair trade, yoga inspired, eco fashion" And the back of the tag sealed the deal with a quote from...drumroll please... Andy Warhol! "They say that time changes things but you actually have to change them yourself." No kiddin' it took me 30 years to figure that one out!
My new idea is to walk up to people and say "Hi, my name is Change" and see if they figure out what to do next! I know--it's goofy, but oh so Heidi in spirit right, and pro-hugs which I love.
So there are a few lessons here. First...all those little marketing details really do pay off and draw clients in. The right window display can target a whole new audience, and put your clever in your tags people! Second...old dog over here is into the new tricks. I have always heard about and supported anti-sweatshop and sustainable products, but never really lived the theory. There's something empowering about knowing that the shirt I have on helps more than it harms, and embodies the principals I believe in. It's an easy way (yes, I said easy...something in our lives should be, right?) to feel like I have made a conscious choice that makes a difference. I am no longer a lazy spout of verbal support with no action. Where and what you choose to buy will make or break a company these days. Sales are down to a level where losing and gaining one client actually shows and makes a difference on the books. What a great opportunity to give some feedback to the companies we support the efforts of.
And....as a sure sign this is a correct trend in my life. I came home to a fabulous note that my building is FINALLY setting up a RECYCLING program! If that is what the extra $15 a month on my new lease is going to I will proudly pay it, and recycle with a smile.
That's all for now. Next time you are shopping with a few bucks to spare, go buy a t-shirt and support these folks. They are producing a product full of good vibes inside and out!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Baby its cold outside....
So yesterday I had to walk somewhere in Chicago. Its been ages since I had to travel on foot (the drawback of working in the suburbs). I miss that NYC walk everywhere as fast as possible vibe more than I thought. But what I didn't miss was cold ears!! Its getting to be that time of year when I go into hibernation mode. I start organizing my apartment as much as possible and nesting like all of my pregnant friends. All because I know I'm going to need to hunker down for a long winter soon. So....I have decided to share my top 10 tips for surviving a Chicago winter. May they help you get through to May!!
1. Bob Marley...don't laugh it works. I have a mix of Marley, steal drum bands, and marimba music that I listen to on my way to work in any snowstorm. I use it on my i-pod when I shovel my car, and it makes me warmer, happier and able to get through the day. It transports me to the Virgin Islands through my ears.
2. Fruity tea. I drink a pot of fruity tea to warm up once I get inside. Anything that is berry or orange or lemon inspired. It's like the flavor of summer iced tea with the warmth you need in the winter.
3. Awesome new slippers. Every winter I buy new cozy slippers. When your feet are cold, its best to make them cute so they are warm AND adorable. See below for last years slippers, I haven't bought this years yet...waiting for something to strike me. These are from Target...just too darn cute, they make me smile whenever I look down. After all, if the sock monkeys are happy...everyone is happy.
4. Good movies. My netflix activity doubles in the winter. Its like the black and white movie on a rainy day deal, but with snow. So stock up your list of stuff to rent and start collecting pizza coupons.
5. Flannel Sheets. Yes, I'm a decorator and I believe in flannel sheets. They feel great, and they even look great if you embrace the idea and take your time finding them. Speaking of embracing, they cuddle better than summer sheets too! Egyptian cotton always feels cool, that's what makes it awesome in the summer, but in the winter...brrrrr. I go flannel and I'm proud of it. Even when they don't match my other bedding...I love these flannel sheets and hope they make it another year until I find another set I like just as much. I call them the cherry bomb sheets. I think they came from The Company Store. I've had them for a few years now....they date back to my red lacquer phase (yes, I had one and I'm proud of it. I'm actually thinking of revisiting it).
6. Fireplace...or candles. If you don't have a fireplace, candle it up. It won't make you warm (at least not in my drafty old apartment), but it will remind you of fireside times--which are a winter positive in my book. Also, they have these great fireplace heaters that look like fireplaces but act like space heaters. Some are even remote controlled. I have always wanted to get one for my studio , but there just isn't a spot yet! So candles, the big ones in their own containers with multiple wicks are the best. And I have recently joined the Soy candle fan club. If its good enough to eat, its good enough to burn.
7. COLOR your world! The leaves get personality in the fall for a reason, they are trying to brighten up those gray skies and keep us happy. I do the same in the winter. I know basic black is everyone's favorite because its slimming, chic, and virtually stain proof...but its also what you wear to a funeral, and winter in Chicago is depressing enough. So find a hot pink sweater or my personal favorite, a fruity pebbles scarf (thank you Katie, that scarf is still keeping me warm and happy). Wear your colors proudly and be the sunshine we are lacking in our chilly days.
8. Find summer stuff indoors. Call the us crazy in the midwest, but we do this. I like the Nature museum's butterfly exhibit here in Chicago, or Garfield Park's Conservatory with indoor gardens. There is nothing like hanging with butterflies inside while the snow is falling, or go to an indoor waterpark for the day (we have one of these too within a few hours drive). Get your flowers and your summer fun inside. You may have to seek it out, but its there.
9. Don't Stop Grilling and other traditions!! Don't give up your summer favorites just because society tells you to! I grilled in the winter in my house in NJ with my hat and gloves on as much as possible. I just ducked in the sliding doors when I could to warm up, and drank some hot tea while I waited. There is no reason to stop tasting the summer. Grill it up, and have some lemonade while you are at it! This is another way to fool our senses..just because our eyes see the snow, does not mean we can't taste and smell the summer bbqs we love.
10. Safety in Numbers. Snowflakes travel in packs and the only way to defend yourselves against them is to team up. So bulk up with your friends and brave it. Have hibernation parties! Check in on your cold weather friends and keep each other active during the chilly months. Together we can make it to summer with minimal damage to our spirits and waistlines.
I know its only October, but its been a cold one. This post may be early, but start the preparations now. Find your slippers and your flannel sheets and if you see a candle on sale, snag it for your survival kit!
1. Bob Marley...don't laugh it works. I have a mix of Marley, steal drum bands, and marimba music that I listen to on my way to work in any snowstorm. I use it on my i-pod when I shovel my car, and it makes me warmer, happier and able to get through the day. It transports me to the Virgin Islands through my ears.
2. Fruity tea. I drink a pot of fruity tea to warm up once I get inside. Anything that is berry or orange or lemon inspired. It's like the flavor of summer iced tea with the warmth you need in the winter.
3. Awesome new slippers. Every winter I buy new cozy slippers. When your feet are cold, its best to make them cute so they are warm AND adorable. See below for last years slippers, I haven't bought this years yet...waiting for something to strike me. These are from Target...just too darn cute, they make me smile whenever I look down. After all, if the sock monkeys are happy...everyone is happy.
Yes, these are bright green sweatpants...see #7 for explanation.
4. Good movies. My netflix activity doubles in the winter. Its like the black and white movie on a rainy day deal, but with snow. So stock up your list of stuff to rent and start collecting pizza coupons.
5. Flannel Sheets. Yes, I'm a decorator and I believe in flannel sheets. They feel great, and they even look great if you embrace the idea and take your time finding them. Speaking of embracing, they cuddle better than summer sheets too! Egyptian cotton always feels cool, that's what makes it awesome in the summer, but in the winter...brrrrr. I go flannel and I'm proud of it. Even when they don't match my other bedding...I love these flannel sheets and hope they make it another year until I find another set I like just as much. I call them the cherry bomb sheets. I think they came from The Company Store. I've had them for a few years now....they date back to my red lacquer phase (yes, I had one and I'm proud of it. I'm actually thinking of revisiting it).
6. Fireplace...or candles. If you don't have a fireplace, candle it up. It won't make you warm (at least not in my drafty old apartment), but it will remind you of fireside times--which are a winter positive in my book. Also, they have these great fireplace heaters that look like fireplaces but act like space heaters. Some are even remote controlled. I have always wanted to get one for my studio , but there just isn't a spot yet! So candles, the big ones in their own containers with multiple wicks are the best. And I have recently joined the Soy candle fan club. If its good enough to eat, its good enough to burn.
7. COLOR your world! The leaves get personality in the fall for a reason, they are trying to brighten up those gray skies and keep us happy. I do the same in the winter. I know basic black is everyone's favorite because its slimming, chic, and virtually stain proof...but its also what you wear to a funeral, and winter in Chicago is depressing enough. So find a hot pink sweater or my personal favorite, a fruity pebbles scarf (thank you Katie, that scarf is still keeping me warm and happy). Wear your colors proudly and be the sunshine we are lacking in our chilly days.
Happy tree outside my window trying to be the sun for me. Pardon the blur, I took this with my screen down.
8. Find summer stuff indoors. Call the us crazy in the midwest, but we do this. I like the Nature museum's butterfly exhibit here in Chicago, or Garfield Park's Conservatory with indoor gardens. There is nothing like hanging with butterflies inside while the snow is falling, or go to an indoor waterpark for the day (we have one of these too within a few hours drive). Get your flowers and your summer fun inside. You may have to seek it out, but its there.
9. Don't Stop Grilling and other traditions!! Don't give up your summer favorites just because society tells you to! I grilled in the winter in my house in NJ with my hat and gloves on as much as possible. I just ducked in the sliding doors when I could to warm up, and drank some hot tea while I waited. There is no reason to stop tasting the summer. Grill it up, and have some lemonade while you are at it! This is another way to fool our senses..just because our eyes see the snow, does not mean we can't taste and smell the summer bbqs we love.
10. Safety in Numbers. Snowflakes travel in packs and the only way to defend yourselves against them is to team up. So bulk up with your friends and brave it. Have hibernation parties! Check in on your cold weather friends and keep each other active during the chilly months. Together we can make it to summer with minimal damage to our spirits and waistlines.
I know its only October, but its been a cold one. This post may be early, but start the preparations now. Find your slippers and your flannel sheets and if you see a candle on sale, snag it for your survival kit!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Long time no type!
Been a crazy few weeks. Teaching 2 online classes while working a 9-5 is more of a handful then I expected. Literally, my fingers are so sore from typing! I have one student in my class who was home-schooled and VERY needy, she is also producing the best work, so how can I deny her assistance? I am sure I felt equally overwhelmed when I taught my first class while working, and this too will become more comfortable overtime. So, I apologize for the recent inconsistency.
A couple of huge revelations have come up in the past few weeks. I have recently connected with a great book called Caffeine for the Creative Mind. It focuses on how to keep your creative going, and how to exercise that element in all the basics of day to day that we get stuck in. How to have that big great idea after you just ate lunch and were going through the motions. How to work with very regimented creative tools and software with scientific priniples in a creative way. It is full of little exercises that will help you consistently look at things differently so you can solve the puzzle a new way. I HIGHLY recommend it for any designer, artist, or manager. Its great for creative problem solving and for anyone in a rut in their job.
I know so many people who aren't totally thrilled with their jobs right now, which is why we call them jobs and not passion activities! But they aren't looking for a better option or a way out because of the economy. They are just killing time in the "safe" place they found to hide. Perhaps some of these exercises will help make a safe place to hide more interesting, or provide a creative idea about how to get to a happier place.
I am struck too by the fragility of human life and the abrasive way we as a society are currently interacting with each other. People are so hurtful on a day to day basis, and we have even started being careless with ourselves. We are so connected, yet so very distant and selfish. We self medicate, and push ourselves too far. We make snap judgments about people we don't even know. Like hungry animals fighting over the last piece of meat, it is often abrasive and harmful. What happened to love thy neighbor? I have had people lie directly to my face and not bat an eye. This is something that is so very foreign to me, and so shocking that I look like a dear in the headlights. The department of Human Services has a large line outside in the morning when I pass it everyday and not enough people to help. Its HUMAN services, shouldn't we be able to provide that, at the very least?
I have decided today that I will move forward with an even stronger resistance to the negative in society. There is no reason that we should not continue to treat ourselves with the love, care, and the delicate nature that our mothers did when we were babies. Why shouldn't we hold each other, and protect each other from the negative? Lately, meditation has been a way to protect myself, to nurture my inner self, and to heal the wounds of the day, but I have slipped from my schedule with all of the extra juggling. It has made me realize what a difference that quiet stillness makes.
I also recently realized that I have a pattern of staying in positions where I continue to trust people who stopped protecting me. This is true of past work and personal relationships. Once people start hiding behind you and feeding your ego by telling you its because you are strong. Once you are the one who is left alone to solve the problem they created and they look at you and shrug like they are lost. Once you are left bruised and holding the bag. They stopped protecting you, and in doing so you cannot trust or rely on them anymore.
The new question is this....how do you spot it before you are trapped in the cycle? What are the warning signs? This is the difficult part, and one I will have to dwell on a bit. What I will do is find a way to love myself and my neighbor and resist the negative without hurting myself or trusting in a facade.
A couple of huge revelations have come up in the past few weeks. I have recently connected with a great book called Caffeine for the Creative Mind. It focuses on how to keep your creative going, and how to exercise that element in all the basics of day to day that we get stuck in. How to have that big great idea after you just ate lunch and were going through the motions. How to work with very regimented creative tools and software with scientific priniples in a creative way. It is full of little exercises that will help you consistently look at things differently so you can solve the puzzle a new way. I HIGHLY recommend it for any designer, artist, or manager. Its great for creative problem solving and for anyone in a rut in their job.
I know so many people who aren't totally thrilled with their jobs right now, which is why we call them jobs and not passion activities! But they aren't looking for a better option or a way out because of the economy. They are just killing time in the "safe" place they found to hide. Perhaps some of these exercises will help make a safe place to hide more interesting, or provide a creative idea about how to get to a happier place.
I am struck too by the fragility of human life and the abrasive way we as a society are currently interacting with each other. People are so hurtful on a day to day basis, and we have even started being careless with ourselves. We are so connected, yet so very distant and selfish. We self medicate, and push ourselves too far. We make snap judgments about people we don't even know. Like hungry animals fighting over the last piece of meat, it is often abrasive and harmful. What happened to love thy neighbor? I have had people lie directly to my face and not bat an eye. This is something that is so very foreign to me, and so shocking that I look like a dear in the headlights. The department of Human Services has a large line outside in the morning when I pass it everyday and not enough people to help. Its HUMAN services, shouldn't we be able to provide that, at the very least?
I have decided today that I will move forward with an even stronger resistance to the negative in society. There is no reason that we should not continue to treat ourselves with the love, care, and the delicate nature that our mothers did when we were babies. Why shouldn't we hold each other, and protect each other from the negative? Lately, meditation has been a way to protect myself, to nurture my inner self, and to heal the wounds of the day, but I have slipped from my schedule with all of the extra juggling. It has made me realize what a difference that quiet stillness makes.
I also recently realized that I have a pattern of staying in positions where I continue to trust people who stopped protecting me. This is true of past work and personal relationships. Once people start hiding behind you and feeding your ego by telling you its because you are strong. Once you are the one who is left alone to solve the problem they created and they look at you and shrug like they are lost. Once you are left bruised and holding the bag. They stopped protecting you, and in doing so you cannot trust or rely on them anymore.
The new question is this....how do you spot it before you are trapped in the cycle? What are the warning signs? This is the difficult part, and one I will have to dwell on a bit. What I will do is find a way to love myself and my neighbor and resist the negative without hurting myself or trusting in a facade.
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